Terrorists and the like
Ah… The scent of burning flesh in the air, could it be that I'm standing next to a recently exploded tank, filled to the brim with grunts, squaddies and such? No, tis the rashers in the pan.
So, out of that, into the fire!
Today I learned that the U.S. are adapting Cold War techniques in the War on Terror. Yeah, cos they worked so well during the Cold War, when two of the world's largest and most powerful countries — who really should have known better — spent the best part of five decades comparing the size of their dicks. Unfortunately for the Russians, they couldn't maintain their erection, and it all went gooey and flaccid. Possibly something to do with Nancy Reagan, hard to say.
Is Medvedev the new hard on Russia's been craving? Who cares? Enough of the phallic anallic.
Where was I? Oh, yes. So, the U.S. are adapting deterrent techniques, based on the average size of an Arabic penis. They've been spreading rumours that the American cock is waaay bigger than the Middle Eastern average, in the hopes that these, ahem, FUNDAMENTALIST, LED-BY-GOD, GUIDED-BY-FAITH NUTTERS might realise that there is, in fact, too much in the way of balls in America and the West.
I think it's the size of the collective Western cock that these people have a problem with, trying to undermine their metaphorical genitalia probably won't help.
It's unclear from the article exactly how the undermining is being implemented, but apparently it's working! (Now there's a shock!)
"They [The CIA and shit] did point to some older and now publicized examples that suggest that their efforts are moving in the right direction.
George Tenet, the former director of the Central Intelligence Agency, wrote in his autobiography that the authorities were concerned that Qaeda operatives had made plans in 2003 to attack the New York City subway using cyanide devices.
Zawahiri reportedly called off the plot because he feared that it 'was not sufficiently inspiring to serve Al Qaeda's ambitions,' and would be viewed as a pale, even humiliating, follow-up to the 9/11 attacks."
OK, so how exactly did the CIA affect this decision of Zawahari's? Obviously the man is suffering from some kind of Difficult Second Album Syndrome andafter recording his sophomore effort decided to scrap the whole thing and go back into the studio. Or so it seems from this. No mention of CIA activity on this front, although maybe it appears in Tenet's book. (More interesting non-fiction? Well, probably more like a marginally realistic novel.) Not a great example to pick, however, and it's certainly neat the way the Admin is always able to pull up an example of how great they done two years ago when stuff almost happened but they was able to stop it cos them terrorists is stoopid and why did we never mention it at the time, well we din' want to worry you — Go back to bed, World! We are in Control! Yeeks!
I liked this: '"Many terrorists value the perception of popular or theological legitimacy for their actions," said Stephen Hadley, Bush's national security adviser. "By encouraging debate about the moral legitimacy of using weapons of mass destruction, we can try to affect the strategic calculus of the terrorists.'"
Still banging on about WMDs? Has anyone ever seen a WMD, outside of a U.S. military installation or the wildest dreams of Donnie Bumsfeld? Would a small bomb strategically planted in a gas depot, or whatever they call those places where gas is pumped about the place, count as a WMD? Surely the Destruction would be fairly Mass.
Do planes count?
Does Chuck Norris?
A lovely quote: "During his visit, Chuck Norris decided not to rename Iraq "Chuckistan"...but if he wanted to?"
Time to pontificate.
So, out of that, into the fire!
Today I learned that the U.S. are adapting Cold War techniques in the War on Terror. Yeah, cos they worked so well during the Cold War, when two of the world's largest and most powerful countries — who really should have known better — spent the best part of five decades comparing the size of their dicks. Unfortunately for the Russians, they couldn't maintain their erection, and it all went gooey and flaccid. Possibly something to do with Nancy Reagan, hard to say.
Is Medvedev the new hard on Russia's been craving? Who cares? Enough of the phallic anallic.
Where was I? Oh, yes. So, the U.S. are adapting deterrent techniques, based on the average size of an Arabic penis. They've been spreading rumours that the American cock is waaay bigger than the Middle Eastern average, in the hopes that these, ahem, FUNDAMENTALIST, LED-BY-GOD, GUIDED-BY-FAITH NUTTERS might realise that there is, in fact, too much in the way of balls in America and the West.
I think it's the size of the collective Western cock that these people have a problem with, trying to undermine their metaphorical genitalia probably won't help.
It's unclear from the article exactly how the undermining is being implemented, but apparently it's working! (Now there's a shock!)
"They [The CIA and shit] did point to some older and now publicized examples that suggest that their efforts are moving in the right direction.
George Tenet, the former director of the Central Intelligence Agency, wrote in his autobiography that the authorities were concerned that Qaeda operatives had made plans in 2003 to attack the New York City subway using cyanide devices.
Zawahiri reportedly called off the plot because he feared that it 'was not sufficiently inspiring to serve Al Qaeda's ambitions,' and would be viewed as a pale, even humiliating, follow-up to the 9/11 attacks."
OK, so how exactly did the CIA affect this decision of Zawahari's? Obviously the man is suffering from some kind of Difficult Second Album Syndrome andafter recording his sophomore effort decided to scrap the whole thing and go back into the studio. Or so it seems from this. No mention of CIA activity on this front, although maybe it appears in Tenet's book. (More interesting non-fiction? Well, probably more like a marginally realistic novel.) Not a great example to pick, however, and it's certainly neat the way the Admin is always able to pull up an example of how great they done two years ago when stuff almost happened but they was able to stop it cos them terrorists is stoopid and why did we never mention it at the time, well we din' want to worry you — Go back to bed, World! We are in Control! Yeeks!
I liked this: '"Many terrorists value the perception of popular or theological legitimacy for their actions," said Stephen Hadley, Bush's national security adviser. "By encouraging debate about the moral legitimacy of using weapons of mass destruction, we can try to affect the strategic calculus of the terrorists.'"
Still banging on about WMDs? Has anyone ever seen a WMD, outside of a U.S. military installation or the wildest dreams of Donnie Bumsfeld? Would a small bomb strategically planted in a gas depot, or whatever they call those places where gas is pumped about the place, count as a WMD? Surely the Destruction would be fairly Mass.
Do planes count?
Does Chuck Norris?
A lovely quote: "During his visit, Chuck Norris decided not to rename Iraq "Chuckistan"...but if he wanted to?"
Time to pontificate.
posted by Stephen McMullin at 11:31 am
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