Boosball makes me smoke Salvia
This video made me laugh. It's The GWB (that's The Great White Bastard) tossing the ceremonial first pitch at some sporting event only to be booed by his adoring public. It's nice to see that the U.S. isn't full of idiots, as Yoorope is often led to believe:
But that's not what I really wanted to bang on about today. I'm concerned about recent news about American legislators doing their best to overturn any conclusions reached from the above video by, er, making Salvia illegal. This quote cracked me up: "As soon as we make one drug illegal, kids start looking around for other drugs they can buy legally. This is just the next one," said Florida state Rep. Mary Brandenburg, who has introduced a bill to make possession of salvia a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.
Some say legislators are overreacting to a minor problem, but no one disputes that the plant impairs judgment and the ability to drive.
Wahey! Well done Mary Brandenburg! You've just put together a bill that will not only waste even more of the taxpayers' money combatting a drug which poses no threat to anyone, but you've created a whole new class of criminals! A pat on the back that woman. It really does take a certain kind of skewed logic to come up with a nugget like that. Imagine, in an effort to remain within the law, kids are turning to *gasp* legal highs! Jesus, maybe if you stopped fucking banning everything they'd stop looking for new shit to try out.
The second bit, about salvia impairing the ability to drive… Er, alcohol, anybody? Remember that one? The biggest killer drug on the planet? But they're concerned about it becoming the next marijuana. What, a drug banned for… Er… What? Er… No reason whatsoever? I thought so. If that's the sole criterion, then yeah, it might be that.
So, first things fuckin' last, salvia is highly unlikely to become 'The next marijuana' (except as outlined above) for several reasons:
1. It's not even a little bit similar. Oh, sorry, well, you can smoke it so I guess…
2. The alleged trip lasts about five minutes, after which time smoking more of it merely makes you feel weird. A built in moderation mechanism if ever there was one.
3. It's fucking horrible.
The argument about driving and disorientation makes very little sense, again, because the trip last minutes (as opposed to the hours alcohol affects you for. In order to cause a car accident on salvia, you would have to be actually behind the wheel at the time of smokage — which makes you a moron and a menace to society. The same could be said for anyone who drives while slugging from a bottle of Jim Beam, except for one thing: If you're at home drinking the JB and you head out to drive you're still drunk. If you're at home smoking some salvia and you decide to drive, by the time you have the wherewithal to do so, the effects have stopped!
When did we let these reactionary, ill-informed fuckbags decide this sort of thing for us? When did people with NO experience of drugs beyond a deeply held misconception that they're in some way evil get to decide what we can and can't take into our bodies?
Anyone who has ever actually tried salvia will know that there is no threat there beyond feeling like shit for a while if you smoke too much of it. Does this mean it should be illegal?
Once again, it looks like legislators are taking every available opportunity to make sure nobody has any fun that isn't heavily taxed. I really hate this blind idiotic hypocrisy.
Alcohol, tobacco, caffeine — all perfectly legal. All fucking lethal.
Cannabis, salvia, magic mushrooms — 'illicit' substances. All entirely harmless.
It's horrible to see the world's most powerful nation under the thumb of such fucking morons.
But that's not what I really wanted to bang on about today. I'm concerned about recent news about American legislators doing their best to overturn any conclusions reached from the above video by, er, making Salvia illegal. This quote cracked me up: "As soon as we make one drug illegal, kids start looking around for other drugs they can buy legally. This is just the next one," said Florida state Rep. Mary Brandenburg, who has introduced a bill to make possession of salvia a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.
Some say legislators are overreacting to a minor problem, but no one disputes that the plant impairs judgment and the ability to drive.
Wahey! Well done Mary Brandenburg! You've just put together a bill that will not only waste even more of the taxpayers' money combatting a drug which poses no threat to anyone, but you've created a whole new class of criminals! A pat on the back that woman. It really does take a certain kind of skewed logic to come up with a nugget like that. Imagine, in an effort to remain within the law, kids are turning to *gasp* legal highs! Jesus, maybe if you stopped fucking banning everything they'd stop looking for new shit to try out.
The second bit, about salvia impairing the ability to drive… Er, alcohol, anybody? Remember that one? The biggest killer drug on the planet? But they're concerned about it becoming the next marijuana. What, a drug banned for… Er… What? Er… No reason whatsoever? I thought so. If that's the sole criterion, then yeah, it might be that.
So, first things fuckin' last, salvia is highly unlikely to become 'The next marijuana' (except as outlined above) for several reasons:
1. It's not even a little bit similar. Oh, sorry, well, you can smoke it so I guess…
2. The alleged trip lasts about five minutes, after which time smoking more of it merely makes you feel weird. A built in moderation mechanism if ever there was one.
3. It's fucking horrible.
The argument about driving and disorientation makes very little sense, again, because the trip last minutes (as opposed to the hours alcohol affects you for. In order to cause a car accident on salvia, you would have to be actually behind the wheel at the time of smokage — which makes you a moron and a menace to society. The same could be said for anyone who drives while slugging from a bottle of Jim Beam, except for one thing: If you're at home drinking the JB and you head out to drive you're still drunk. If you're at home smoking some salvia and you decide to drive, by the time you have the wherewithal to do so, the effects have stopped!
When did we let these reactionary, ill-informed fuckbags decide this sort of thing for us? When did people with NO experience of drugs beyond a deeply held misconception that they're in some way evil get to decide what we can and can't take into our bodies?
Anyone who has ever actually tried salvia will know that there is no threat there beyond feeling like shit for a while if you smoke too much of it. Does this mean it should be illegal?
Once again, it looks like legislators are taking every available opportunity to make sure nobody has any fun that isn't heavily taxed. I really hate this blind idiotic hypocrisy.
Alcohol, tobacco, caffeine — all perfectly legal. All fucking lethal.
Cannabis, salvia, magic mushrooms — 'illicit' substances. All entirely harmless.
It's horrible to see the world's most powerful nation under the thumb of such fucking morons.
posted by Stephen McMullin at 1:04 pm
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