Fortified wine and small animals.

Cor!

I think I actually did some work today. Some college work, like. Finally handed something in. Really.

I'm not sure if I'm pleased or if I have a slightly violated sensation, as if words have been violently ripped from my being and plastered across six pages of A4 paper. It could be worse though - I forgot to bring anything along to put said writing in and so I spent a few desperate minutes trying to fit it into a tiny envelope. This did not go as planned so I started searching the newsroom and found a folder'y thing. YOINK!

So all is well... I have a headache, no money and I'm starvin' but it could be worse. I could be a marketing student. Oh yes, the cost of this course is high, but I didn't have to sell my soul to anyone! Not even Satan or Mammon...

There's something in the newsroom which keeps making a strange rattling noise. I'm pretty sure it's he Star Witches. Those featureless bastards just never let up! Harry Royce has a lot to answer for, opening the rift like that... Sorry, I won't do THAT again.

Hmmm... Just got ordained into the Universal Life Church. Apparently I can now perform marriages, last rites and most other things, with the exception of circumcision. I'm not terrbily worried about this omission, however. Apparently I can absolve people of their sins too. I'm happy about this, because I'm included in people so I shall have no fear of anything ever. Wonderful...

I'll stick the link up. It takes about three seconds to get yer printable cert of office.

It's a measure of how bored I'm allowing myself to get that I'm seeking out the weird and strange of the net to help boost my blog. It's a bit pathetic really, but I know what my fans want.


Buh-bye.

Shelter from the storm in a teacup.

Oh, yes...

It would seem auld Ronnie Bosch has buggered up my sidebar. Damn him! I suppose that was only to be expected though. Images of Hell and all, bound to cock things up! Otherwise it wouldn't be very Hellish, would it?

Still, if you scroll away down you'll find it near the bottom of the page. I've moved the poll into the sidebar as well, which should make it easier for you to vote. This week I want to know how many of you believe the Pope should be sainted...

I just visited the Cillit Bang website and I was severely disappointed. I was hoping for some extension of the TV ads - which I'm still pretty sure are a spoof. The site just has pictures of Veet and Senocot (will the ads pop up for these marvellous items now? Who knows...?) and nothing about Cillit Bang. Curiouser and curiouser, as one might say when falling into a rabbit hole.

Also, click the title of this post in order to claim your free sample of KY's new improved jelly. I'm intrigued by this so-called 'warming' liquid. Will it cut down my heating bills? Will it reinvigorate my sex life with squirrels? Will that thought haunt you all day? Muhahahahaaa...........!

And on a lighter note, I've almost completely resigned myself to having to get a job. I don't like this prospect, and as such haven't exactly been pushing myself in the direction of employment, but I feel the bullet is there waiting to be bit. Ten. So, if there are any people reading this with the power to give a job to someone who can spout rubbish at the drop of a mongoose, my email address can be found by clicking on the profile button (or Leonardo's face...) and I will be very happy to hear from you. Maybe. Unless you want me to make tea for David McWilliams... I bet he takes loads of sugar! And complains if there isn't enough. My, how the mighty have fallen...

Yes, The Big Bite. A fascinating show. There's Dave, a smart man with all sorts of knowledge about things who should really be presenting Prime Time or Qs&As or something, who is instead stuck in a garish daytime studio discussing nose jobs and cup sizes with the great and the good of Ireland's unemployed glitterati... It does make for distracting TV. He said bastard at least twice the day after Kevin Myers's twaddle about single mothers and loved it. That is how bad things are. His hair doesn't even look that plastic anymore!

SAVE DAVID McWILLIAMS'S CAREER!!

Give the poor man a proper job talking to experts and influential types rather than small-chested women bemoaning period pains and nipple cramps (from all the weight-lifting as they try to expand their concave torsos...)!!

ENOUGH of THAT! What do I know anyway? I'm just another crank with a blog, albeit a fantastic blog with pictures by DaVinci, Bosch and someone else on it. I think I'll hunt down some more art to put up here. Yes...

Ahem.

After searching around I found a nice picture by Francis Bacon, well, I say nice - horrible really- but unfortunately the computers here in the library are real bastards and don't like doing anything I want them to. In fact, they're so fucking clever-clever that they like to take part of a piece of HTML, change it and then say, "Oh, no, you've got that wrong. There's a bit missing!" And I'm left screaming at the screen, "Yes! I know there's something missing! Because you took it out! You fucked it up, you bastard!" To which it smirks, "What're ya gonna do about it?"

Too much gnashing of teeth is bad for your health, or so I'm told. Microsoft are probably responsible for the majority of the world's dental problems. Bill Gates is in league with the dentists... Brushing your teeth with Colgate lets Them Know Where You Are. Don't say I didn't warn you. Next time you're planning to launch a new operating system or overthrow some minor despot and They seem to know all about it before you've even begun scheming - it's probably because of your toothpaste. Tiny microprocessors containing even tinier microphones stuck to your teeth. Oh, yes, Colgate Total - lasts 24hrs, eh? I'm sure it does. That's how long the chips last before they self-destruct!

Sorry, paranoia sometimes gets the better of me. (It ain't paranoia if They are out to get you!)

*sigh* I was supposed to be typing up a French essay instead of this. So much for good intentions. My brain aches.

Check this out: http://sunsite.nus.edu.sg/wm/paint/auth/
Tons of cool stuff...
Bye.

Beware... all of you!

Garden of Earthly Delights - Hell(c. 1504), Hieronymus Bosch (1450-1516)

Some art to keep the sponsors happy. I'm cultured, me.

Days lose their meaning...

There was going to be all sorts of interesting stuff here about getting drunk, seeing Ramblin' Jack Elliot and other things, but terrible events overtook blog-rambles...

Hunter S. Thompson took a gun to his head, pulled the trigger and sprayed the brain that created Gonzo all over his study. What the fuck...?!

I've stuck a link to gonzo.org in there and it's well worth checking out. There are tons of links to articles about him and so on. I've also stuck a link to my Other Blog, which allows pictures to be posted. There isn't much there and I haven't been able to bring any of the pics across, but you can have a look.

Hrmph... The wind from my sails has been taken. I reckon I'll be able to blog again properly in the next few days, but what can you say apart from... He's dead...

(I've also stuck up a link for the UK deed poll service, just in case anyone wants to change their name. i'm thinking of changing mine to Raoul Duke, Dr. Gonzo or something similar.)

R.I.P. HST

Cheezy snax

Cor!

This AdSense thing's really bizarre. Because I was talking about snooker yesterday there're all these links to snooker-based sites. I just spent ages playin' with this pool game... Just goes to show how good Gooooooogle are/is...

The thrust of this message is Click On The Ads! I've managed to earn $0.78 since Tuesday. This isn't going to allow me to retire in luxury, people! Perhaps there are other avenues of no work I could try...

I've managed to get a links box at last, though I couldn't think of what to link. I realised most of the things I look up are found through Google rather than my having actual web addresses. I put in Neil Gaiman's website, which is quite great. It has all sorts of wonderful thingies and the journal is pretty good fun most of the time. Neil was one of the earliest high-profile bloggers and as such should be accorded all kinds of hurrahs and so on and so what am I on about?

Also linked is Darkhalf.com, which hosts some of my work in the fiction genre. Mostly not nice, but mildly amusing stuff. I reckon everyone should read Funny As Hell, cos it's dead good... Bip... Gonna see about more stuff as and when I think of it. Yo!

(*Subliminal message* Click On The Ads *End subliminal message*)

God, I'm tired... My sister was up today and forced me to talk to her and wander around with her friend and she. Sorry about the horrific grammeario there, but I'm not firing on either cylinder right now. No coffee, y'see.

I'm curious about how far this targeted advertising will go. I wonder if I start writing keywords like "Porn", "Movies" and "Amazon" and wax lyrical about black holes, will I end up with adds for Playboy, MGM, books and Stephen Hawking?

Only one way to find out...

I keep meaning to start doing some form of college work. I'm supposed to have a dissertation done in a few weeks, as well as a SWOT analysis, a French wotsit and something to do with documentaries. I think there's something else too, but I'm not letting it get to me. (AAARGH!!!)

If I had a hammer I'd probably bash my thumb while trying to use it.
If I had a Euro for everytime someone told me to get my hair cut, I'd have about a tenner.
If I had X-ray vision I'd see more skeletons.
If I had some ambition I'd be doing something sensible instead of this.

Right, that's enough for now.

Ya bastid!

Oh, yes, that's what Jimmy White said after missing some ridiculous shot against Mark Williams earlier on... Very tight match. I almost fell off my chair with the tension! Though I'm looking forward to the Ding-O'Sullivan match. That should be good. C'mon Ding!

Anyway... Went over to Eoin's house with my guitar last night and we spend a while banging out some tunes along with his housemate/bandmate, Eoin. Twas all in good fun. Unfortunately he now has my guitar, so that's not ideal. But what can y'do?

I wish I could dig out some sort of scandal for yiz, but I've really been quiet today... Nothing's particularly annoyed me. The bus was on time, nobody weird spoke to me. All in all it was one of those noneventful days I sometimes read about. I'm not sure whether I like the trend - it sort of cuts down on my options for writing about things.

I found an interview with an exorcist yesterday, but haven't read it yet. Sorry... I'll try link to it: www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1260364/posts
Hopefully it's amusing or interesting at the very least.

I'm now going to try sticking in some links. Don't be surprised if I bugger everything up...

The snick of the balls...

Yes, it's Masters time!

I can't help it, I love watching snooker. I'm dead against all other sports, but snooker has an acceptable level of exertion as far as I'm concerned.

I was unsurprised to see Peter Ebdon walk all over Steve Davis today. Steve's not been playing the best for a while now, he may just be past it (gasp!). Although I wanted him to batter that baldy bastard Ebdon...

Enough about snooker! It's not exciting for most people and certainly not the reading about it.

I'll tell you a story:

Last night after I'd done some ferocious blogging and blog-surfing I began to potter home. I was feeling a little disorientated, as one often does after spending hours gazing into the Screen of Doom, and I was just wandering along in my wee daze listening to good ole boy Marilyn Manson when someone jumped out in front of me bearing a big smile and extending their hand. Now, I'm not the sort of person to be overtly rude to people, I often find myself involved in long, drawn out conversations with beggars, charity collectors and librarians about how much money I have, so I stopped.

I figured this plump American was probanly trying to hit on me for Tsunami Relief money or something, and she would've been on a hiding to nothing, that being precisely what I had in my pocket. But I'd stopped before I knew what I was doing - I'd committed, so I thought I may as well hear the sob-story.

"I'm only training," she said, no doubt to make me feel more comfortable about the guy standing behind her. I wasn't all that concerned.

"I'm doing a bit of fundraising," bells and sirens clanged and screamed in my head, so it was a money thing... "I don't have any," I said, reasonably, and truthfully. I didn't have any money. "Oh, please, just listen to my story..." She pleaded, so I shrugged. Go on, my body language said, and she did.

"Do you have any piercings?" Suddenly I'm on the back foot. Piercings? Questions? Is this a survey? "No..." Came my wary response...

"(slightly disappointed) OK, well, you see..." The tale unfolded, "I may have got my nipple pierced a while ago (May have?! Surely it's a black and white issue!) and it kind of got infected and I had to have it removed..."

"That's terrible," I said. And in my mind it was! Nipples don't deserve that kind of treatment, they should be cherished!

"Yes," she continued, "and so now I'm trying to raise money to get reconstructive surgery done, because it's really affecting my self-confidence and... And... And..."

The story probably continued with a bit more wheedling and pleading, but I wasn't really listening. In the end I made my excuses and buggered off, completely confused. I spent the entire walk home wondering if it really had happened. Had I imagined the whole thing? Why would someone say such things to me? Why would they be so mean?

If you read yesterday's entry, you'll already know how I was questioning my existence and this threw me into deeper worry. Was this some agent of the Real World trying to alert me to the flimsiness of my constructed consciousness? Was she actually looking for money? What was going on?

If you're reading this, mystery nipple-less American, I'd really like to know.

For anyone else, no, I did not make it up. Unless I'm actually having some sort of breakdown, because I'm certain it happened.

And, for the record, I wouldn't be all that concerned about having some random woman's nipple rebuilt anyway. I'm pretty sure I'll not be reaping any of the benefits.

Here's the V for Vendetta poster I was trying to put up yesterday:



Ahem, it appeared once and vanished... What happened? I do not know... I will leave the little box there just in case it decides to expand into a lovely picture of V again.

Check this out...

"With so many blogs available, can man ever dare to blog with purpose? No blog
can be without the blogger. Bloggers, likewise, must blog to be. If both are
needed, does blog or blogger come from its other? Everything is another's blog,
therefore who can claim to be the blogger?"

Ontological Argument for the Chief Blog(ger)

I must work this into my thesis somehow... Oh, yes...

Sideways Quizzlings!

Cor!

It's been a fairly busy time for the auld blog, innit?!

Between pictures, ads and polls (there's a new one, by the way. I'm going to try changing the poll fairly regularly so make sure to check! Justify my time copying and pasting!) things are definitely looking more swish...

Oh, I read through the conditions of the AdSense thing and Google expressly forbid me to spend all day clicking on the ad, thereby increasing my own wealth. I can't use robots to do it either, which is no problem since I don't have any robots. Unless certain theories regarding the realness of the average human being are proved true... No! Don't think about it!

That way lies madness!

I'm slightly worried about the ad. The banner appears to be getting eaten by my Blogger navbar, but I don't seem to be able to do anything about that. I fiddled around with the format for a while, but anytime I tried to put it further down the page it vanished! And there were mysterious spaces surrounding things. I fear I may not be the BlogGenius I had hoped I was becoming. It's only a matter of time... Then you'll all pay!

Well, if you click on the ads Google will pay, which is the point. So, in a shamelesssssssssssss act of whoredom I'm going to say - Please-please-please click on my ads! It'll take no time at all!

*grovel*scrape*beg*

Anyway...
I think I'm slowly but surely dripping out of reality. I've had the distinct impression over the last couple of days that I'm not as real as I used to be, or that the world has moved slightly to the left and I'm still floundering in a right-hand-side coma of delusion. I reckon it has a lot to do with Japanese horror flicks. I watched Ring 0 and Tale of Two Sisters over the last couple of days and they really do make you question things... Added to this Sarah's creeping everyone out with her own ghostie stories and I'm not sure which side of the etheric line I'm on. Do I see dead people and not realise it?

Nah, shouldn't think so.

I was wondering, what would happen if you watched the Ring videotape in the Grudge house? How fucked would you be? How little would you enjoy your last few hours? *shudder*

I'll change tack now...

Last night I watched Battle Royale 2. It's crap. The first one had a certain charm, but this one was just stupid! Then I watched the scary trailers for the other films in the Asia Extreme range and I couldn't bring myself to go to bed until my jitters had abated somewhat.

One of the things I ended up watching was Anatomy for Beginners, which was on dead late on Channel4. It was quite surreal. There was this German dude wearing a cowboy hat dissecting a body, which he had hung on a post, there was a naked guy (who looked for all the world like Rocky Horror!) having muscles painted onto him and various other things, like a bacon slicer they used to cut a brain into bits. The corpse on a stick was the weirdest bit thought. The German quack kept sticking things into it to make the bits move. He had the hand going at one point and it was a bit, well, creepy...

Talking of creepy - the Wachowski brothers are making V for Vendetta! The graphic novel, by Alan Moore, is one of the coolest things I've ever read. Hopefully a couple of nerds like the Wachowskis will be able to pull of a masterstroke with the movie. I'm getting a little annoyed by Alan Moore's attitude towards films of his books. From Hell was shit, though I'm told the novel was great (I haven't managed to make myself fork out the €40 for it yet) and the less said about the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen the better... The books were so good...

Aagh! Just Googled it and this is what I found out:

Release Date: Fall 2005 (wide)

Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures

Production Company: Silver Pictures (the Matrix trilogy)

Cast: Natalie Portman (Evey Hammond); other cast not announced yet.

Director: James McTeigue (feature debut; he served as the 1st AD on the Matrix trilogy and Star Wars Episodes II & III)

Screenwriter: Andy Wachowski & Larry Wachowski (the Matrix trilogy)

Based Upon: The graphic novel "V for Vendetta," written by Alan Moore and illustrated by David Lloyd, published by DC Comics in 1988.

Premise: In an alternate timeline where Germany won World War II and Great Britain is now a facist state, a masked vigilante known only as "V" conducts guerrilla warfare against the government. When he rescues a normal young woman (Portman), she joins his struggle against the forces of oppression.

Genre: Science Fiction/Fantasy, Action, Based on Comic Book

Filming: Filming will begin in early March on location in Berlin, Germany.

So, they aren't directing, just writing... And Natalie Portman's in it... I dunno...

I'm trying to stick in a couple of pics, but every time I do Blogger changes the HTML code and tells me I've done it wrong. Which I haven't, they keep moving things!

*sigh* What can y'do? Maybe it's for the best. I've already stolen one picture from DC Comics, any more and I might get hunted down and eaten by wolverines. Oh, sorry, they're Marvel. Oh-ho-ho-ho... What an awful nerdy joke that was...

I bin at this long time now, gonna stop - try get some work done.

Yip.

Hooray!

See a picture of Morpheus stolen from some site? I did that...

And you all thought I couldn't do it. Well, after spending an entire day on the internet, I bloody well did it!

Moo-hah!

I got the image from www.vamp.org and I sincerely hope that I will not be sued by anyone. I haven't got my multi-million advertising business up and running yet anyway, so I don't have any money.

Here's another link, www.neilgaiman.com I love the journal...

I'm Jack Sparrow!

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

Fancy...

I have a counter now, so I know exactly what's going on.

I'm not sure if this was a good idea, could get a bit depressing. I have visions of Homer Simpson's webpage where the numbers gradually dripped away.

Anyway, what harm can it do? I think I'll seek out more marvellous add-ons...

--------------------------

There is also a poll at the end of the page. I don't know why it won't go where I want it to, but you have to scroll away down to access it.

Interesting Jim, but how can we exploit it?

A bizarre thing... I was just cruising around the old blogger homepage and I saw out of the corner of my eye a wee thing that said MONEY. Now, never let it be said that I'm financially driven, but I am skint, so anything that looks like money for nothing sounds good to me. Especially the 'for nothing' part. I looked into it and it was a thingy whereby you can put ads on your blog and earn revenue from said ads for each time someone clicks on it. Sounds froody, no?

I kept clickin', wondering how I could get my gums around this particular corporate teat, and discovered they will look into how the blog performs and decide whether or not you are suitable. I reckon if I had ads on my blog I could spend an entire day clicking on the buggers to make damn sure I was suitable. In the end, there was just too much filling in of things and it seemed like a lot of work.

Copying and pasting and such like. Pfwergh! Still, maybe it's time I sold out. Get me that much closer to that elusive Harper-Collins deal.

Went to see Meet the Fockers last night. I have rarely seen such a turd of a movie. I thought maybe it was just my imagination which had me hate Meet the Parents so much, but no - it's just shit. I don't think I so much as smirked throughout. I was too busy trying to stop myself from crying...

Don't waste your time on this heap o'shite movie.

Sarah's card is in the bag. Or envelope, as the case may be. Or is. I'm pleased with it, it's quite the finest Valentine's card I've ever made. Not difficult since the last one I made was as an eight-year-old when we were forced to make them for our mothers in school. ("Luv ya ma!" - Say it with finger-paints...)

Started reading The DaVinci Code the other day. *ducks to avoid the assorted rotten fruit and other missiles being launched from the audience* I know, I know... But I'm trying to leap into bed with the Corporate Whore and become the Lowest Common Denominator. Hence Meet the Fockers, ad banners on my blog and Dan Browne. To be honest, I can't see what all the fuss is about with the book. I've reached the major revelation about the Holy Grail, and I'm not finding my life changed in any way. Maybe if I was a Christian it'd have more of an effect. I was highly amused to discover the head of Opus Dei in the book is called Bishop Aringarosa. I'm still waiting for someone to say, "Ring Aringarosa would ya!" I don't know if Dan's sense of humour overlaps with mine on this front.

Am I the only person to notice this glaring joke-in-waiting? Answers on a postcard. Or email, since you can do that from here...

Anyway, I'm fed up of all this typing stuff. I'm gonna go and surf a few other blogs in the name of research. Honest! This is my thesis, baby!

Bloooop, bloooop, bloooopy, bloop-bloop...

Name that tune.

Do not be scared, Iluvpie (the commenter from the last post) appears to be some person called Aoife who I suspect is a mate of my sister's. Suspect? Who'm I kiddin'? The wee bugger'll pay for this. This means you, ya wee... (frgengirgncvmng...) This is what happens when you link to your own blog after posting creepy messages.

Anyway, so much to tell! Well, no, not really. But it does no harm to pretend.

Went to St. James's Hospital today to visit someone and when I went to the front desk (after a trek of great magnitude, I might add!) the bored and rude woman said there was no such person. She now has me doubting my own existence and I don't know whether I should be writing this at all given the fragile state of reality around here. *deep breath*

Sarah got holiday pics back and put them on a marvellous device known as a 'compact disc'. I was vaguely aware such things could be done, but since my knowledge of photo-taking and so on is limited to point and click (or is it shoot? There are so many new fangled things, I can't get my... What's this? Where am I?). This should be obvious to anyone who's read the blog from the start and witnessed my feeble attempts to put pictures up.

Just to make it clear once again, I'm not able to download Hello, the photo-posting programme, in college so the picture thing is out of my hands. In case anyone thinks I'm just useless. HA! Anyone... I mean either of you... (Hi, Mom!)

Monday is St. Valentine's Day - I'm not looking forward to it. This is the first time I've had a ladyfriend for this Festival of Lurve, (oh, God, how pathetic is that?!) so it's all a bit worrying. My friends keep saying, "Oh, she's probably only expecting a dozen roses and a van full of chocolates and three necklaces (only one of which need be diamond-studded) and bears with cute uniforms and..." BLAHBLAHBLAH!

Too Bad, is what I have to say. A card'll do her. Mind you, it being Sarah 'The Artist', it has to be a handmade card. And not by someone else's hands either. I have looked into the rules and regulations and it's very clear on this point. So I get to flex my creative muscles in a worryingly mushy sort of way...

I started reading 'On the Edge of the Etheric - Life after death scientifically explained', by Arthur Findlay last night. It's all very interesting, but horribly written. He writes in circles. He's not capable of making a point, he has to reiterate the point three or four times in one paragraph, in order to reinforce the point he's attempting to reiterate in that paragraph, regarding whatever it is he's attempting to put across in the point, at least three or four times. It's irritating.

It gets very confusing when people do that. Like when he was talking about the etheric world, in which we shall be found following our death, which is really only our true form leaving the physical form behind, he felt the need, rather than just coming out and saying it, to jiggle around the point with more sub-clauses than a department store at Christmas to the degree that I had no idea what he was saying! If he just wrote, 'When we die, we enter the etheric world. It is all around us, but we can't see it. It makes up all the bits of stuff in the universe we think of as void. Apparrently it's very nice.' The whole thing'd be a lot clearer. Mind you, the book'd be a lot shorter too...

Sorry, I was trying to emulate Findlay's style for a while there, but I think I only succeeded in being annoying rather than demonstrative. Perhaps I should rest my case right there. On the sideboard, near the fridge. Not too near, there're bananas in there'd eat yer auntie!

Anyway, I believe I've slipped off the edge of coherence so I will go and find something to eat...

Build me a boat, Noah!

If I was God, I do a lot more of that boat-building lark. Not because I particularly need to get around by water, I'm God after all, but I think it would help unemployment figures. As well as resuscitating the ship-building industry. Particularly the handmade and out-of-wood kind.

Keep the hand in and all that.

I was actually considering this whole 'divine retribution' thing recently - floods and such like. I've been of the belief for many years now that we're all fucked. The world is gradually giving up and we're just starting to get the message. Tsunamis notwithstanding, the weather's been pretty weird for the last few years. I mean, take today for example. It's February 4th and it's sunny and warm out! It practically summer!

If that is not God pissing about I don't know what is...

OK, so maybe it's not plagues of locusts and killing firstborn children, but I think the God of our times has moved on and is probing more subtle means of venting his speen, or wrath if you prefer, on us - humanity.

Think about it, if there was a sudden flood or similar, we'd probably try and bomb it, invade it or blame it on the Arabs (I'm not sure what the East would do, I can only speak as a decadent western swine). God's not daft, he's got this all figured out. He's going to gradually wear us down with unpredictable weather patterns.

"Is it going to rain tomorrow?"

"I dunno, the weatherman said it might, but pointed out that our guess is as good as his."

And the world will become full of people wandering around wearing easy-on/off layers of clothing, carrying umbrellas and looking suspiciously at the sky. Believe me, this is only the beginning. Soon there'll be hailstones in August and then where will you be?!

HA! Then you'll see...

On a lighter note, um... I can't think of one.

Do try not to spend the rest of your day grinding your teeth in annoyance at having wasted precious time reading this pointless weather-blog. Imagine what it's like for me! I go around actually thinking these things!

Amen.

These are the glory days...

Galway, IrelandPearse StadiumJune 27, 2004

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35
If You See Her, Say Hello
Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum
If Not For You
Drifter's Escape
The Man In Me
Down Along The Cove
Mr. Tambourine Man
God Knows
Tangled Up In Blue
Not Dark Yet
Honest With Me
Forever Young
Summer Days
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
Like A Rolling Stone
All Along The Watchtower
Highway 61 Revisited

So, I have rich text again. I believe it is something to do with the college library. Which is where I am right now, avoiding the newsroom because it makes me feel guilty. No, not because I peed in the corner once, but because there are people there doing work and, well, surely you can understand why that's an unpleasant thing to be around?!

I decided I'd stick up the set-list from the Time I Saw Bob Dylan just to make me look cool. I don't think it worked. Probably has the opposite effect, but who cares? I certainly don't. And I'm pretty sure Bob isn't losing any sleep over it either...

I have been to the cinema twice in the last week. Each of these excursions was successful in that the films I saw were very good, although with differing levels of enjoyability. Allow me to elaborate:

On Saturday I saw A Very Long Engagement, which is essentially Amélie 2, only grim and nothing like Amélie. Well, it's the same director (Jean-Pierre Jeunet) and star (Audrey Tautou). I would lie and say I got by without reading the subtitles, but that's not true at all. I am a slave to the printed word.

The film surprised me, not because it was in French - oh, no!- but because it was littered with really horrible bits of World War One violence. I should have known, since it's set during WW1 and all, I was tooken aback by just how graphic it was in parts. Sarah, needless to say, was reduced to covering her eyes and murmering, oh, nooo... every time something unpleasant happened to someone.

The other film I saw made the first look like one of Disney's more saccharine offerings. Creep is about this killer on the London underground and it is just horrible. There are parts which are just too much, even for me, and I love my gore. But this crossed several of the boundaries of taste and I don't want to think about it anymore. But I can't help it. I saw my jacket out of the corner of my eye earlier - lounging where I had filed it on the chair - and I had to look twice 'cos I thought it was the Creep! Not good, but excellent at the same time. If you know what I mean.

Enough.

My achievements over the last few days stretch (or contract) to having adapted Ballad of a Thin Man, by His Bobness, to heavy metal acoustic guitar. I'm quite pleased with myself, it wasn't easy. If anyone wants to hear it then they can organise my first gig which I want to be sold out and in Croke Park. If U2 can do it and be a bunch of talentless useless arrogant fuckers, I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to as well. Talk to Justin Greene at money-loving fucks r' us, *coff* Sorry, MCD.

No, seriously. Do.