Liars and lying

I know, I know... But I just found this: http://lionsgatedirectors.com/zombie/2005 I didn't know Rob Zombie had a blog! This is quite cool... Must tell Paul...

Bye.

There are no cats in America...

... And the streets are lined with cheese.

BUT, there are cats all over my site. I had an ad for Whiskas. They offered me a free kitten kit (whether this allows one to build a kitten or what I'm not so sure) and so I filled in their wee boxes and so on and when I got to the screen where it should've said "Your FREE kitten kit is in the post" the computer went "This page cannot be displayed blahblahblah..."

So no kitten kits for me.

Started reading a quite fabulous book the other day, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke. I'm being thoroughly impressed by it (unlike this keyboard/mouse combination - they seem to be conspiring against me, thus it is VERY hard to type or do anything here!). It's a long time since I started a book that kept me up til 5am - even then I didn't want to put it down and I felt guilty doing so!

I won't tell you what happens, cos I'm mean/lazy/whatever. But the website is www.jonathanstrange.com and it'll tell you wonderous things about this big, heavy piece of paper.

Leslie, I have to disagree with you on the Eric Bana front, I would've enjoyed the film a whole lot more if he'd just gone on and hulked up for me, but the bugger didn't even have a tinge of green about him - except when he was forced to say some of the most horrible things in the name of that heap o'shite movie. For the first part of the film I wasn't sure if he was French, English, American or just a moron. The accents really got me. Why was Agamemnon Scottish and Menelaus Irish? Surely these people are ACTORS and can do the RP as required? It's just very distracting. And it was embarrassing to see Brad skipping between accents with each new line of shite which trickled down his chiselled chin.

On a lighter note, I watched End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones - It's brilliant, but so sad! I was near tears at the end of it - sniff- they're all dead!

Don't feel too sorry for Johnny, but DeeDee and Joey were great people. Johnny was such an asshole, even when asked what he felt about Joey's death he was, "Oh, I didn't see the point in , like, calling him up or anything just 'cos he was dying, 'cos we didn't get on, y'know?" Asshole.

Still love them tunes though.

My inspiration is running out and I'm hungry and I want to go home so you will hear no more from me. Except for this: http://www.nbc5.com/news/4388177/detail.html?z=dp&dpswid=2265994&dppid=65193 (thanks Shmezzer!)

At least we can always rely on the nutters of this world to keep, well, being nutters.

Oh, and also, if you look in the list on Irishblogs.ie (click the wee icon in the sidebar) you'll see ME! Pushed to One Side. I'm so proud of me for, well, very little actually. Hopefully it'll speed my blog's transition to ink on wood-pulp. Yes, that's what it's all for! I'm a mercenary! I've got ads on the page, fer Christ's sake!

Don't look so disappointed. This reminds me of the fable of the old woman who nurses the snake back to health and it gets better and bites her and she says, "Why'd you do that, I was so nice to you!" and the snake retorts, "Hey, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up, baby."

And that is, honestly this time, that.

tura-lura-lay

Oh, yes... I'm back. Sorry it's been a while, but it's so hard to get my ass into college these days because IT'S OVER!!!! At least, 'tis as far as I'm concerned.

Just a briefy because I'm not feelin' the bestest ever, but I feel it should be pointed out that Troy is the worst film ever.

Well, maybe not the worst, but certainly one of the most shite-laden I've ever come across. Everyone was crap in it. Everyone was as unlikable as everyone else and I wanted them all to die. I can't even remember the end of it, this is how utterly rubbish it is.

I don't know quite what I was expecting, but I was disappointed whatever way you choose to whittle it.

Also watched Cabin Fever - or rather, I watched all but the last 15mins of Cabin Fever. That is another very poor film and I'm making a stand. I'm not going to watch the end because I don't feel it deserves it.

I did something similar with Lord of the Flies, William Golding's HUGELY over-rated book about little arseholes on an island. I got to the second last page and that is where I left it all those years ago. Some would call that childish and I agree with them.

In response to Paul's comment about the Rabbis, surely the fact that Rabbis are allowed to marry has something to do with them not fondling children. I couldn't say with any degree of certainty, but I'll just put it out there for people to savour.

Humans are sexual beings! Denying the body these things does not make you more Godly, it makes you an aberration - a Freak! And the sooner the Pope takes his head out of his arse and lets priests marry the better for everyone.

I'm not saying all priests are kiddy-fiddlers, because obviously they're not. Most are dedicated, caring men who just happen to have backed the wrong horse.

It was only a couple of years ago that JP2 announced that it was 'alright' for priests to 'pleasure themselves'... In the olden days you'd be damned to hell before you could say auto-erotic asphyxiation (or at least type it - PHEW!), but now you can wank to your heart's content, just not on the alter boys. Or in them.

Goodness, that was crude. And me with ads for rainbow kitties on my site.

I should be ashamed. But I'm not.

Oh, by the way, I just signed myself up for the Irish Blogs Directory in another shameless attempt to lure unsuspecting saps to this world of depravity and bad-language (FUCK! - The first one's free...) and there's a wee tiny clicky thing in the sidebar which will transport the clicker to a world brimming with irishness and popery. It's rather odd actually, but who cares?

Oh, and make sure to sign up HERE for a HYPOALLERGENIC CAT!

When he died I was hopin' that it wasn't contagious.

Imho - In My Humble Opinion. Thanks Ciaran.

Imho, that's bollox.

It is rather bizarre that from mentioning Harry Potter I got ads for the books, ads for kiddies' costumes, ads for theme parties and ads for London. I don't quite know what Big Googlie Brother is thinking, but he seems adamant that children should come to my site. I can't say I agree.

I do believe I rencently mentioned shooting children instead of cats - in jest of course. Children don't deserve such mercy. I can hear the Feds at the door, better take that back...

Reminds me of that wonderful quote from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, "Why should I fuck children? They're too small!"

Make of that what you will.

Moving on to the Pope (HEY! It's topical! I'm not implying anything, before you accuse me, Leslie!) it seems we have Ratzo "God's Rottweiler" Benny XVI in charge of the world's largest cult. How long before the Inquisition's robes and thumbscrews are dusted off?

This man is a perfect example of the self-contradictory nature of the so-called Universal Faith. He hates EVERYONE! Homosexuals, Communists, Women... God help you (or not) if you're a communist lesbian...

The Ardship of Dublin was on TV yesterday talking about Ratzo's avowed enemies in the Vatican. Hold on... These people are all Holy types, following the teachings of Mr. Christ, presumably to the letter, yet there are enemies within the organisation... Does this smack of 'Do what I say, don't do what I do' to anyone else?

Fucking hypocrites. Or hypochrists, as the phantom punner would have it...

There are, of course, reasons why Ratzo's appointment is a Good Thing. For one his hardline nonsense will drive more rationally minded people away from the Church, allowing us all to get on with evolving without interference from a wrinkly old man who thinks it is His Place to tell people how to live their lives, how to have sex(?!) and so on.

COME ON THE EVOLUTION!

I'm taking the lack of smiting done so far as evidence that God agrees with me. Or doesn't exist.

Shit! Is that lightning...?!

Haunt me like you used to!

*sigh* Yes Leslie, it seems like it's just you and me...

But still, yer bumpin up my hit counter - don't forget to click on the ads!

It's really too early in the day to be doing this, since nothing's happened yet. I'm thinking about starting on the wine, seeing as I have even more free time than I did before...

Watched Anchorman earlier (yes, I know! Earlier! What is the world coming to? It's all Sarah's fault. She thinks mornings are for getting up in. HA! Silly...) and it is RUBBISH. I was hoping it'd at least be amusing brainlessness, but it's not funny enough. One or two moments made me snigger, but there's really nothing worth writing home about. So I won't (sorry ma!).

Also watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Now, I love the books and I'm eagerly awaiting the newy, but the first two films made me ashamed of cinema. They were pretty poor. Amazing sset design and all the rest, but Chris Columbus couldn't make a film any more than his namesake could bed Queen Isabella. Alfonso Cuarón, on the other hand, is a master... Y Tu Mama Tambien was a brilliant movie and so is this recent H.P. film.

Amazingly shot, funny, well-acted, well-directed... Just brilliant. Goes to show what a big difference the director makes to how a film turns out. I'm hoping beyond hope that Tim Burton gets a crack at one of them. That would be spectacular...

Aside from that, nothing...

This just in...

Hurrah! College is all but done. Four exams stand between me and freedom from this craphole of a dump where I have wasted several years of my precious life.

Today I sat in a room and blabbered in French at an unfortunate woman named Gráinne (Graw-nyah). Actually I don't have much sympathy for her. She's made her bed and can damn well lie in it!

S'not fair, really, but then again I hate doing oral exams. Not that they're hard, it's just the psyching up for them that gets me. Once I sit down and start talking the rubbish starts to flow... I spent ten minutes bending her ear about puppets. Sho' nuff!

In other news, I've just finished the last essay I'll ever have to do EVER! It was a truly terrible piece of tripe. I'm rather ashamed of it. You get used to that when you're doing a course with no real point full of subjects you just don't care about.

I would like to take this opportunity to bring the word 'Optimific' to everyone's attention. If you don't believe in it, you should talk to this guy. He evidently thinks it's a real word. It isn't. See here for my previous rant about this kind of intellectual jargon. I really, really, really hate it...

And I feel somewhat vindicated now because neither the Oxford English Dictionary nor Wikipedia have ever heard of something being 'optimific'. Stupid, stupid bastard-bastards! The sociologists, not the Richard Snaries.

There's something of weight off my shoulders now and I'm going to spend more time doing nothing, blogging and playing geetaw - only without the mild twinges of guilt I've been feeling since Xmas.

Funnily enough, when you type Xmas into your phone, using T9 predictive text, you get wobs. I also love 'imho', which comes up when you write 'goin'. I don't know why this is the first thing the phone thinks of. I honestly can't think of a single word that begins 'imho'. Well, except the ancient Egyptian Pharoah, Imhotep. But I don't think that's what it's thinking of ... No. when you try typing Imhotep you get 'Imhoues', which I don't think makes any sense.

If anyone can shine a light on these mysterious snippets of nonsense I would be very happy to hear about it.

Yo, Splunga!
See ya when later's now...

What? You mean they're legal!?

Hello.

I only came online to email myself an essay. A strange ritual undertaken by those of the technogically feeble inclination. When I decided to take a look at Dec's blog and got an urge...

Just as I was going to log on to blogger the computer decided to commit suicide, but it's been rather obliging since then. I think it's feeling some sense of repentance and gratitude that I've given it a second chance. Perhaps I'm reading too much into the situation.

About an hour ago I took 5 grams of Psilocybe Mexicana and they're really starting to kick in now. So it's something of a miracle I'm writing anything. If it all gets a bit weird, you know why. You probably won't notice any difference.

Although I would like to point out that between the laptop committing hara kiri and doing its best impression of Lazarus the sofa has started breathing. And I'm sitting on it! Quite odd...

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that these mushrooms are entirely legal. I think this is due more to the fact that Michael McEvil, Minister for Evil and No Fun, doesn't know about them. It's only a matter of time I guess... But what a time!

For 15 euros you too can commune with God.

Or at least watch the walls breathe for a couple of hours.

I was amused to see a blog the other day written by a man who evidently thought he was the epitome of all that is useless. I wasn't amused by that, I felt a little sorry for him, but I did chuckle when I saw the title of his most recent post "Oh my God, I can't breath." He then went on to talk about all the ways in which his life was restricting his ability to breath. He couldn't breath on a number of counts. I don't think I'd worry too much. I can't think of a single situation where I couldn't breath... I was going to post some facetious comment to that effect, but I reckoned having the fact that he was illiterate on top of everything else pointed out by some smart-arse Irishman (who heavily edits and spell-checks his blog, for the record) would possibly push him over the edge. I didn't want to be responsible for a major tragedy involving trucks and heavy artillary, so I kept my fingers to myself.

But it is here now for all to chuckle at.

He meant 'breathe', just in case you didn't get that last paragraph. God, I am a smug git...

It's only a matter of time before I zone out completely and start barking orders at this poor, over-worked and under-appreciated laptop, so I'm going to sign off without so much as a link.

In response to Paul's allegations that I spend too much time at this I will say only that I do. But it is highly addictive and a great distraction if you've other things to be doing.

OK, the keys have started moving and I have to catch each one unawares before I can pound it. This suggests to me that I should stop five minutes ago.

Bye.

Free Dom!

Whoever Dom is. It seems to be the new war cry of O2, the mobile phone company, for thems as don't know.

Saw a curious sign on a house on the way to town. It proclaimed there was a "Patio over looking [sic] convent playing fields." I wonder... Who exactly are they trying to sell this house to that it would be so important that they could watch teenage girls prancing around in their school uniforms, or, as would be the case a couple of times a week, in their gym slips. Hmmm...

I will say no more.

Watched Saw last night. And so in response to the ludicrous question "Dare you see Saw?" I say, yes. And I wish I hadn't. Not because it is horrifying and gory and all the things the trailer would lead you to believe. No, because it's rubbish. As Ciaran said, 'tis another poor Se7en rip-off. It begins with promises of very nasty things happening and, to be fair, one or two vaguely unpleasant happenings do occur... Not nearly enough for my taste, however. After a while it begins to look like a gruesome episode of CSI and Danny Glover, well, he really is too old for that shit.

Lately I have been listening to Wednesday 13's new album, Transylvania 90210. It is every bit as great as I had hoped, if not more so. Much more diverse than his other efforts, with some distinctly Manson-esque twists (particularly on the haunting closer, Bullet named Christ.) Though my favourite track is the traditional FDQFP13 sounding, Bad Things. Oh, how childish it is to find yourself wandering through town humming, "I want bad things to happen to you, I want very bad things to happen to you..." Or the classic, "Life's a grave, dig it!" or "I walked with a zombie."

Wednesday, if you're reading, which I'm pretty sure you aren't, I salute you!

Oh, before I forget, there are new things afoot with Poppy Z. Brite. She has a new book coming out soon called Prime. There is an extract available HERE as well as an extract from her last novel which I couldn't find anywhere, called Liquor.

Enjoy.

Hurrah for HTML!

As you may have noticed the quote and colour of said quote in my header have changed. The sizes have changed too, though that isn't really all that amazing. What is amazing is that I did it all myself with funky little HTML bits. I'm quite chuffed with myself.

Last night I watched Oldboy, a quite excellent Korean movie which is typical of Asian cinema in that it is bloody odd. It's about this guy who gets locked up in some prison for 15 years for no apparent reason. He then gets released and has five days to figure out what the hell's going on. Tension builds, breasts are bared, hands are cut off and the film ends on a strangely disturbing note. Great stuff altogether.

Also watched Dead or Alive, a film directed by Takashi Miike, who was also behind Gozu, mentioned below. While it's much less weird than Gozu, it is an odd film full of unpleasentness and seemingly pointless bits. The director says in an interview in the special features that he deliberately made the film make no sense because he wanted to fuck with the producers who were only in it for the money. He showed them! I won't ruin it for anyone who may want to see it, because it is worth seeing - particularly the first five minutes, but I really want to...

And the other day I watched Zatoichi, a film by Takeshi Kitano. The trailer shows it as a fast paced sword-fightin' movie but it actually isn't. Very slow, very arty and very odd. Much as I predicted and told certain people who wouldn't believe me. You know who you are, Sarah.

I am definitely learning Japanese! It's such a cool language and I'll only get so far in Tokyo with arigato and domu and any other words I've picked up along the way...

Aside from that, I spent the day trying to learn When You Awake, by The Band. I have a DVD here that shows Rick Danko (deceased) playing it (obviously not while deceased) but I still can't seem to work out what the chords are. There are a lot of them, to be sure, to be sure...

I'm still torn on the cat issue. While putting bleach on the windowsill might stop them jumping on it, I feel something more caustic and less obvious might be a better deterrent. Although the ISPCA might have something to say about that:

- I'm having you arrested for deliberately burning the feet off cats!
- No, you don't understand, I always put sulphuric acid on my windowsills.
- Rubbish!
- No, seriously... You'll think I'm mad, but, well, I hear it keeps vampires away...
- Surely that's garlic...
- PAH! Folklore and nonsense.
- No, 'cos I read in this book once that... Hold on, why am I discussing vampires with you? You're a nutter!
- Ah, who's the bigger nutter? The nutter or the nutter that talks to him?
- ... *poof* ... (disappears in a puff of logic)

Hmmm... I don't forsee it being a productive conversation. Maybe I'll just tolerate the cats.

Kitty-kitty bang-bang...

Update on the Wisconsin cat shooters --->

'The proposal - which some wags have dubbed "Kitty Kitty Bang Bang" - has received national media attention; the La Crosse man who came up with the idea has received death threats.

'"I don't think Wisconsin should become known as a state where we shoot cats," Doyle told reporters in the Capitol. The state has been the butt of jokes, he said, and his office has been getting calls and e-mails asking how Wisconsin could allow the shooting of feral cats.'

There's also a video HERE.

There's something very sinister about this whole thing. Why shoot cats?

Surely there are more annoying children out there. Cats keep to themselves, more or less. Kids actively seek out ways to be irritating.

Also, and on a completely unrelated note, Neil Gaiman has posted an extract from his new book Anansi Boys. I'm quite looking forward to it. Quite? Loads!

Um... If anyone has an opinion on the cat shooting, you can vote in my poll which is on your right.

Check THIS out for several reasons why cats should not be shot. They're so cute!

PHEW! Quite the link-heavy post, but don't get bored! I swear they are all good links, whether you like shooting cats, stroking cats or feeding cats to your dog.

Buh-bye.

Once again, my mind is boggled.

Thanks to my cat shooting post THIS and THIS appeared at the top of the page. Apparently there is more than one way to repel a cat...

Click on the ads, vote in the poll. This is a fully interactive blog for those in work with nothing to do - make the most of it!

I can imagine Ciaran being very much in favour of cat-shooting. I reckon it'd be great sport in our garden. Not much of a challenge though, considering the size of the buggers in our area!

The woman next door really does feed them up. I wouldn't mind so much, but it gets a bit hair-raising when a large black shape lands gracefully on your windowsill and glares in with huge green eyes, forever probing, judging, looking through you and seeing all your secrets. All your hopes. All that you are and all that you will never be...

Nah. S'just a cat!

Anyway, I appear to be getting kicked out of this room now, so I'm gonna go. Bye!

...And furthermore!

I would like to draw attention to This.

If your browser supports this rather odd piece of software (which mine didn't til a few minutes ago) you will see that the world has largely disappeared and only the US of A is left. I don't know about anyone else, but I find that a little disturbing, since I'm sure I don't live there.

Unless certain theories on the nature of time and space have been proven horribly horribly wrong and the world is a big hoax and and and...

So you see, the End IS Nigh.

Don't believe me?

I present Exhibit G (from Netscape News.):

"Another State May Legalize Cat Hunting

"Wisconsin has taken the first step toward legalizing cat hunting. Residents of the state were given the opportunity during statewide hearings on Monday to vote for or against a proposal offered by the Wisconsin Conservation Congress, a citizens' advisory group, to make the hunting and killing of cats legal, reports The Associated Press. The proposal was approved by a vote of 6,830 to 5,201 and will now be forwarded to the state Natural Resources Board. To become law, the measure would have to be approved by the legislature and be signed by the governor.

"If the proposal is passed into state law, then any free-roaming cat will be considered an unprotected species. This includes domestic cats that are not under their owner's direct control or any cat that is not wearing a collar. When an animal is listed as unprotected, it can be hunted by anyone with a small-game license. Other unprotected animals include skunks and gophers. Cat hunting is already legal in South Dakota and Minnesota and has been for decades.

"Why do they want to kill cats in Wisconsin? State officials say that wild cats kill an estimated 47 million to 139 million songbirds every year. Even though the plan was met with stiff opposition from cat lovers--they organized the Wisconsin Cat-Action Team and started a Web site at http://dontshootthecat.com--the proposal still passed.

"Don't shoot the cat! Click to visit the Wisconsin Cat-Action Team's Website.

"The Humane Society of the United States has described cat hunting as cruel and archaic, notes AP. At least two state senators have vowed to do everything than can to prevent this from becoming law."


Tol' ya!

Interesting times. End of days?

Yes, according to my Adsense account information my current eCPM is $6.66... That's the cost per 1000 impressions (no, I don't understand it either).

I was just struck by the number of the Beast's appearance.

I was watching the news the other night and there was an item about Childline (this was RTÉ news) and the number was continually flashed on the screen. If you're not aware of this already, the Childline no. is 1850 666 666. I always thought that was a wee bit, um, odd. So the number of the beast kept coming up.

THEN! There was an item I can't remember the meat of, but there was a plea for information - call your local Garda station sort of stuff - and the numbers came up on the screen. For anyone who doesn't know, all Garda stations, at least in Dublin, begin with the prefix 666. Eg. 01 666 1234... And this was in the background throughout most of the feature.

I was in hysterics of course, and as a joke I said the temperature the next day would probably be six degrees across the nation. Hohoho. It was. Going down the east coast of Ireland the temperature was six degrees in Belfast, six degrees in Dublin and six degrees in Waterford... 666

This is just one more sign that we are now living in an End of Days scenario.

"*thunderous laughter* Yeah, right, Stephen. You're mad!"

Yup.

But I'm not the only one ---> Apparently the Truth Is Here

Innocence. Inner sense. In a sense.

Scrolling down a to couple of days ago, the perceptive blog-reader will find a comment from Mr. J. Henning of Perseus Development Corp. in which he corrects my musing on the origin of his company's name, thus:

"We thought "Perseus" sounded high tech, while being vague enough that we could reposition the company over time as markets changed."

And I'm a bit weirded out by that. How did he find me? Does he know that I used his work liberally in my thesis? He does now! The world is a strange place...

Anyway, there are many very important things I need to tell you all (both) (you) but my brain is slightly numb with the drink. I don't think I drank all that much, but I do know I was talking some serious amounts of shite at anyone who'd stay still long enough to listen. If any of you are reading, I apologise, but it is so much fun! Talking shite that is, not apologising.

Started to apply for a job with the Guardian yesterday but got bogged down in the essay section, which contained questions like this:

"Because language in its broadest sense is the currency of our profession, this programme requires that candidates must be fluent in standard English and at least one other vocabulary. These may include foreign languages, computer languages, English dialects or the vocabulary of music, art, science or religion. What is your additional language? Describe your degree of fluency in this language and how often and under what circumstances you use it."

Not only that, but 12 of them!!

So I ground to a halt. I may go back to it eventually, but not today...

Working for the Guardian would be sweeeeeeeeeeeeet. Love that paper, I suppose that's why the application form's so bloody hard! I'd get to meet Doonesbury and If... Oh, and Steve Bell, as well as his cartoon characters. What do you mean Doonesbury's not real? Am I having an episode. Sorry... *BWAH*

I think I've done all I can here. Damage limitation, not barfing... Blackout iminenttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt------

Pressure drop.

FINALLY!

The dissertation is gone and away and out of my hands. It's also rubbish, boring and largely made-up, but that is beside the point. So I'm going to get drunk to celebrate. Funny how things work out, innit?

On a lighter note, there is a new poll on the page. It's not a good poll, but my brain is fried and I really can't think of a decent question. If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them. Oh, yes I would...

I saw Gozu last night. I had wanted to get Audition, but the stupid video shop round my end didn't have it. Gozu is... Interesting. It makes no sense, however. It was rather like a David Lynch film in Japanese, although it was the kind of stuff that just would not be accepted in the states. I don't really want to spoil it for anyone who might want to watch it, but beware of the lactating Asian. That really was too strange.

I also watched Brother, which is fantastic, although quite odd once again. It's an arthouse gangster film, bringing Japan's most famous man (Takeshi Kitano http://www.office-kitano.co.jp/) to the states and having him do lots of nasty things to people with a rather cheeky smirk.

It makes me want to learn Japanese.

I also watched The Grudge again yesterday. TWICE! Which must be some sort of record. It's actually not as scary the second time, but it's still brilliant. I watched the commentary on the DVD too, which some might say is a bit sad, but I thought it was interesting. For example, I learned that there is a Director's Cut of the film coming out soon which has loads of REALLY scary bits that the censors wouldn't allow in the theatrical version. At least, not if it was to have a 15 cert (PG13 in the states). Since I didn't buy the normal one I shall not be too upset about parting with money for the new improved one.

And there's always the offchance that Ireland on Sunday'll have another copmpetition and I'll be the only one to enter it again. That'd be nice. Mind you, I've entered a lot of competitions recently and won none of them (or had no word back yet. My breath is not being held.)...

I've noticed that I'm not getting much traffic through here these days, so I've decided to go and publicise myself s'more by posting nonsense on otherses blogses, but it's so hard to find sensible people out there...

Boi!

Cuzcompany, three's a crowd. And a short rant about porn.

Oh, the puns, the puns, the puns...

Yes, Dec and Donal have fucked off to Peru for two weeks to eat cocoa leaves, see ancient ruins and get into compromising positions with llamas. I have stuck their link up in the links field (funnily enough) so if you've accidentally stumbled across this blog while looking for porn you can look there too. I have a feeling you'll be disappointed, but you can't have your cake, eat it and look at porn.

I was handed a leaflet outside the cinema the other day - when I went to see Ring 2, it's crap, don't waste your time - which was entitled "Pornography - just harmless fun?" And I thought, yes. Apparently I was wrong. According to this leaflet, looking at pornography for six weeks turns the average male into a rapist, a murderer and, more often than not, a paedophile.

I know what they mean. Sometimes after seeing a naked breast on TV or a piece of paper I want nothing more than to go out and find a child to molest.

What a stupid, stupid piece of shite that leaflet was.

The best thing about it was that they quoted Ted Bundy on the back. Yes, the Ted Bundy who murdered women, because he is an expert on these things. Wha-? Talk about spin!

Pornography, according to this leaflet, has no positive effect at all. I could step outside my house for five minutes and find a dozen people who would disagree with that statement. It's like saying beer or chocolate or sex has no positive effect. Just because the cause for peace and the drive to stop world hunger is not aided by something does not render it free of positive effect.

Rant over.

Fortunately it was not me...

I once heard someone singing a song that went like this, "Joy to the world, the pope is dead..." I think that was all the lyrics actually. And now the Pope IS dead. How happy is the world? I think there should be questions asked of this fellow.

I have found that the world, at least my bit of it, is largely indifferent. Poor Popey. (Thanks to Anna for that...)

On a lighter note, I woke up this morning to find a copy of The Grudge and two tickets to see The Ring 2 waiting in a jiffy envelope for me. God bless Ireland on Sunday and all who sail in her. (Hi guys!) It just goes to show, nobody enters those competitions in the back of the paper. Except me. This is the third of fourth or maybe moreth thing I've won through competitions like this. A list, por favor:
1. Ozzfest tickets, from Phantom FM. Marvellous!
2. A POD album, from the big screen at the Ozzfest. Shite! (But I did get a few quid for it when I took it into the second hand record store, so, SCORE!)
3. A Disturbed DVD, from one o' them student webshites. Never watched it, gave it to a friend who in turn did not watch it and gave it to his brother as a birthday present. Everyone was happy! Except my friend's brother who was stuck with it.
4. €10 call-credit, from some giant sperm who invaded a bar I was in one night. Spermtastic!
5. The Grudge and Ring 2 tix. Maaaavellous!
6. Can't think, but I'm pretty sure there's another one. Wahey!

For those of you who thought Perseus was a guy with wings on his shoes who fought Gorgons and such like with the power of his shiny shield, go to www.perseus.com and you will see how wrong you are. Yes, Greek mythology continues to be perverted, this time by a market research company! I can imagine the meeting:
- Pegasus!
- Nah, that's a kind of shoe, or was it a horsey?
- Prometheus!
- Bit of a mouthful.
- Phyrrus!
- Aren't there negative connotations surrounding that name?
- Perseus!
- Yes! A man with wingéd sandals! And a shiny shield! Who slew Medusa! That perfectly sums up what our company stands for! Yes, we shall use a metaphorical shiny shield to examine internet trends and our surveys shall fly like wingéd sandals into the...

blahblahblah

As you may have guessed I have other things to be doing, which is precisely why I'm doing this. Shirking is what I am at and it feeeels sooo gooood.

I shall away now to commune with the green and sticky.
*poof*

Bin aWhile

Yes indeed, it's bin aWhile.

Mostly because I haven't had much to say. Been up to my ears in dissertation work and I'm slowly but surely losing the will to live. More surely than slowly I fear...

Recently I have been listening to a lot of Prince. Which is something I don't normally do, but it would appear I've come to that phase of my life where I can happily Prince away without fear of, well, anything. So, how've you been?

If you click the title of this post you'll be whisked and transported right away to a page filled with comic strips. Doonesbury's there along with Boondocks and Garfield and all the other comics you know and love and some you probably loath and despise. Speedbump's there too. I love Speedbump.

I discovered recently that there are around 10 million blogs in operation, or at least in existence. Mine has been in existence for a while, but I would hardly regard it as operating. blahblahblahblahvblahdafwsuihjtng... Makes you wonder what's the point sometimes. Or more often than not all the time in some socks there are fish...

No, it's no good. The inspiration's just not there.

There is an ancient theory that I came up with the other day, which states that if you kill someone or something you immediately absorb it's life-force. Or soul. I swatted a fly on the bus and I got to wondering what happens to these souls once you've absorbed them? If you swat a lot of flies do you become twitchier and more attracted to sweet thing and poo? If you work in an abattoir as a cow-killer, do you gradually become more docile and inclined towards vomiting three times before swallowing your food properly?

It's worth pondering, certainly more so than my thesis. (Theses, rhymes with faeces!)

And that is, as they say, all folks.